But you know me well I keep trying to convince myself
as I walk the path I take most days
to the man-made lake I’m tempted to swim in
this warm spring afternoon, though the signs warn me
sternly not to and I’m old enough to know
I should know better. But isn’t that the fun,
after all: Not the drowning but the thrilling possibility
of something unexpected? I start to undress
then feel a chilly breeze and decide to watch the geese
waddle and grouse instead. They stay around
all year now, so I wonder if they still dream
of flying great distances. Then I wonder what the bears
dream, these days, as they try to fall away
into deep slumber since winter’s grown so thin.
I wonder what the sparrows chirping in the budding trees
know about me simply from the way I’m sitting here
pretending not to cry from the sadness rising
through my body. Or the happiness—it’s hard sometimes to tell.
Yesterday, wandering through our supermarket trying
to remember what I’d come for beyond what I was holding,
I saw a man I recognized. I remembered how he’d suddenly
reach out to hug people, even near strangers,
how awkward that felt, yet how wonderful
to hug him in response, smelling his aftershave
and feeling fully human. I thought he might remember me
too, so I followed him out to the parking lot.
Of course he had vanished. The sky was turning pink
as the sun set behind the mountains we love
to watch at dusk as we listen to the creatures
of the darkness awaken in the trees, music
from another distant world, singing with what might sound
like joy but is probably simply the rhythm
of thousands of tiny bodies calling
I’m here! I’m here! to the darkness. And that’s all.
—
Michael Hettich has published a dozen books of poetry, most recently The Halo of Bees: New and Selected Poems, 1990-2022, which won the Brockman-Campbell Award from the North Carolina Poetry Society. His other awards include The Tampa Review Prize, Fellowships from the Florida Division of Cultural Affairs, The Hudson-Fowler Prize in Poetry, and a Florida Book Award. He lives with his family in Black Mountain, North Carolina.
