This, my life
My body, my culture
Are resources
Chin’an gheli
I wake up and don’t hear a damn thing
Maybe the wind
And a bird
But nothing else
This, my life
On the coast
Off the ocean
Priced out our homes
My home, a resource
Kids come
Kids go
My children, a resource
We lost 14 schools last year
This, my life
I’d give anything to see the children
Come back here
But that is already me
Surrendering my bloodless sword,
My life, my wealth
Is
Defined by how much I give away
How I share
With those who have nothing
This is what life is
No amount of money could ever replace
The millions of fish for the millions of generations
Before and after me
The white men, the colonizers
Come to us and say they wanna mine gold
Take the gold from our souls
But you can’t eat gold
And you can’t steal our souls!
Do you know what it does to a soul
When you can’t cut fish for a year
I’m sick
Of all the fight
I really needed my mom this year
Her favorite color was purple
I wear purple now
She, my life
I always tell my family I’d give my life for them
Here I am giving my life to a coastal brown bear
For a dog I don’t even like
The bear slouched down
And walked off
I saw his eyes before he left
Beady
I saw him see mine too
To those coming to my home
To take my fish, gold
And steal my soul
Look into my eyes first
If you must kill me
At least have the decency
To look into my eyes first
And tell me: Chin’an gheli
Thank me
For giving you everything
Author’s note: This poem was written in part from the book Salmon and Acorns Feed our People by Kari Marie Norgaard with an excerpt by Naomi Klein that describes colonialism and capitalism’s extraction of resources—both natural and human. She describes her body, her life, her children as resources within this system. The rest of the poem was inspired by conversations with our Alaska Native constituents whose home in Bristol Bay (one of the largest salmon producing bodies of water in the world) is being threatened by gold mining. They have been fighting alongside locals, conservationists, subsistence fishermen, sport fisherman, and commercial fisherman to protect the bay and their salmon from pebble mine for over 20 years. One lady in particular got up to receive an award at the Bristol Bay Salmon celebration on behalf of her mother, for her lifelong stewardship. She spoke in front of Alaska’s two senators and said: “you can’t eat gold.”
I talked to her later that night, all dressed in purple, sitting alone with a glass of wine. She told me about how a starving bear was trying to eat her dog who she doesn’t even like. She ran after the bear like mad and looked into his eyes, she screamed and yelled at him in Yupik. She watched his arms come down, his shoulders slump, and his paws hit the earth. He walked off.
Mary Peltola introduced a bill to prohibit mining in Bristol Bay and earlier that day the Bristol Bay Native Corporation group and their elders came to us and said there’s a word in our language: Chin’an gheli. It doesn’t just mean thank you, it means thank you from the bottom of our souls. And when an elder says it to you, your well-being has been blessed.
—
Jillian Everly is a Knauss Sea Grant Fellow, placed in Representative Mary Peltola of Alaska’s office in Washington D.C. to work on coastal and ocean issues at the intersection of Indigenous rights.
